Day 124- Yeah... but...
📖Daily Reading
Proverbs 15
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Proverbs 15: 21-22
Foolishness brings joy to those with no sense; a sensible person stays on the right path.
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.
I am a ‘yeah but…’ girl, I always have an idea or answer to why something will be a good idea. I am a creative and a visionary type and I love exploring and adventure. Interestingly enough I also have spent my life seeking stability but my own tendencies keep me from attaining it. I have convinced myself that I love change; like big changes, new houses, new cars, new cities, new businesses and careers. I really do enjoy big changes when there is a good reason. But I have in my past also been a ‘leap then look’ kind of person and then all the excitement wears off and then I am like, ‘how the hell did I get here, wait what happened?’. Can you relate, are you sometimes impulsive, impatient, adrenaline junky, thrill seeker? But at the same time also a comfort seeker and stability craver? Does it leave you feeling dazed and confused?
In the business world we refer to this as ‘shiny object syndrome (sos)’. It is pervasive and it is alluring. We are marketed to like no other time on the planet. We live in a fun house of mirrors. The other term I have learned recently from one of my coaches, Neil Mathweg, is ‘switch cost’. Every time time you make a change there is a switch cost and every time we get distracted with a shiny object, even a little there is a switch cost, even with our attention for a few minutes, but on a bigger scale, we don’t think about all of the hours of research, packing, learning new things, moving account or schools. Whatever your particular change or switch you contemplate you need to zoom out and think about all the ‘switch costs’ and not just about the new ‘shiny thing’ that is so tempting we think we just have to have it and it is ‘the answer’ etc..
The more I am learning about the mind body connection, the more I am realizing that my nervous system was trained and programmed from a very young age to seek both things. So oddly enough, I experience stability in change. Weird right? Change feels like home to me, consistency, stability, focus, staying in a place or on a path feels uncomfortable or unnatural for me. Now that I can see this, it is really helping me understand my tendency to be like these verses describe, I was the fool enjoying foolishness because my ‘senses’ were getting mixed messages. I would often seek out advice only if I knew I would get agreement or I could convince someone with all my ‘yeah but’s….’.
Soooo… now that I can be honest and humble enough to have this self awareness about myself, what do I do now? I really am trying to have a counsel of wise advisors, which includes God and the Bible now also, and look before I leap now instead of the other way around. I am learning experience by experience of doing things in a new ways that stability and being on a focused path actually allows a lot of creativity to occur, it is not boring - or it doesn’t have to be. With in healthy and consistent boundaries I can ‘play’ around and get as creative as I want. This has been a revelation for me! It hasn’t been comfortable at times and I have had a lot of resistance and ‘yeah but…’ moments. But then learning to accept the wisdom, advice and learn how to bring vision, creativity and adventure in new ways.
Our minds which includes our nervous system and gut are amazingly strong and hard to go retrain and reprogram, but it is possible. With practice, patience, time, grace, persistence and new experiences you can learn to experience in a new way without compromising the core of what makes you - you! Exploration, new experiences and adventure are essential elements of my ‘Felecia-ness’, I am learning that I can have all of this on an even more joyful and deep level than I even thought possible by my willingness to do the hard work and re-train myself, and I am just getting started! You don’t have to let your past experiences and your default settings run the show - you can change - I personally think it is worth it but you will have to make that decision for yourself. I also, can’t do this with out wise advisors who are on the same path but further ahead. I have a wisdom council now and I don’t make any big moves now without prayer and asking my main ‘coach’ and then other trusted advisors.
I would encourage you to start where you are and see where you feel like you have been on ‘rinse and repeat’ cycle that doesn’t always lead to the results you want, and see what you can maybe learn to do differently. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. For me, making the commitment and the willingness to go through the uncomfortable and hard parts and breaking my wine habit was my first step. Through that process my mind, body, heart and spirit learned that I can change at a fundamental level if I was willing to do ‘the work’ and trust the process, and then I just kept going and you can too!
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
Are there patterns in your life that you don't understand, that seem to be against what it is you really think you want? Have you ever experienced switch costs or shiny object syndrome?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Proverbs 16
Coaching Opportunity
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