Day 96- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others!
📖Daily Reading
Psalms 65-77
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Psalm 73: 12-15
Look at these wicked people- enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.
Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Did I keep myself innocent for no reason? I get nothing but trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain.
Psalm 73 could have been written by every human on earth at some point. It is definitely is a vulnerable and raw post about the trap of bitterness and resentment that comparison causes. Comparison is a liar and a thief of joy. It is the old adage that ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’, right? Luckily the author catches himself before he falls down into a pit of despair and depression that is very hard to get out of. He is able to get his mind, eyes and heart re-focused on God and get a new perspective and a renewed mind. We can do the same thing.
If you are finding your own circumstances or life experience ‘unfair’, and you also find yourself looking at others who ‘seem’ to have it all together and feel resentment or jealousy, you might be stuck in the trap of comparison. Rather than feeling shame about it, because that will just make it worse, you can acknowledge it and do some thought work and prayer and give yourself a new perspective and an attitude adjustment. It is tempting to think that the ‘good life’ is trouble free and easy, but any meaningful reflection on this will quickly dispel this myth. We may not like being challenged, but we know this is where growth, maturity, resilience, problem solving skills all develop. This psalm goes onto say that those that do live lives of ease and luxury are on a ‘slippery path’ as soon as challenges do come their way they are ‘quickly swept away by terrors’. In order to be able to handle challenges you have to have gone through some.
My husband and I took a parenting class when our kids were young that was a Godsend. It was called Love and Logic and in a nutshell they taught us to view our children as ‘adults in training’. If you don’t allow your children to have struggles and consequences when they are young and under your protection, then when they get out on their own and have adult sized consequences it can be a life altering and sometimes life ending. We aren’t doing our children any favors by being ‘helicopter parents’, we in fact are crippling them. I have experience of this in my own family, my grandmother was a classic ‘helicopter mom’ and co-dependent. All three of her sons were dead from alcohol related suicide by their mid 50’s. They didn’t learn how to handle their own lives without being bailed out or rescued when things go too hard. It is a cautionary tale for me as a recovering co-dependent even though I didn’t consider myself a ‘smother mother’, I definitely have room for improvement and I certainly was not being a good role-model and walking my talk. I have been guilty of being too easy on my kids, this was a big problem in our marriage for a long time and has been a point of healing in my marriage on this journey of becoming sober-minded. In fact this is my big ‘why’, to change this family legacy.
It takes courage to look at your own circumstances and take full responsibility, it is not easy but it is worth it. It also takes maturity and courage to look at our struggles as growth opportunities and maybe even be ‘excited’ about struggle and what we are learning and how we will be transformed through them. It takes a lot of energy to be focused on others and comparing, it takes a lot of energy to feel bad. Emotions, especially resentment, sadness, bitterness, anger take a lot of energy, they literally are draining. Have you ever noticed that? Comparing also keep you hidden, scared and playing small in your own life. It keeps God small and hidden. We are called to be examples and lights. How can you be a light if you are hidden and comparing your light to others. We all have something unique and special that we offer, some are called to be bonfires and some are called to be fireflies.
I am really trying to walk my talk these days, and please don’t compare yourself to me. I am stumbling and fumbling and falling everyday, hopefully🙏 in a more forward and upward direction though. Yesterday I was out at a public park walking. I am doing a workout right now that requires 10 minutes of walking backwards on a treadmill. Rather than waiting and trying to work more time in my schedule for this. I decided to walk backwards at the park, despite getting lots of strange looks and comments from fellow walkers. In fact one couple even chuckled as I walked by and kindly told me that they wouldn’t judge me. I just smiled back and said, judge away! I don’t mind. Maybe I will inspire a funny story later at their dinner table or maybe, just maybe someone will be inspired to do something a little out of the ordinary and risk being judged for it. That is my hope. We spend so much time and energy judging others and judging ourselves, what if we freed up all of that energy to just be a light for someone else?
Psalm 73:21-24
Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant- I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
Are you comparing yourself to others and causing all kinds of mental drama in your life? Is this mental dram translating to feeling like a victim, blaming or not taking responsibility for your life and the circumstances you are in? This is no way to live! God doesn't want this for you or for me! He has given us each the gift of our own life and what we do with it is a gift back to him.
📖Tomorrows Reading
Psalms 78-106
Coaching Opportunity
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