Day 126- Smart is not always wise...
📖Daily Reading
Proverbs 17
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Proverbs 17: 27-28
A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.
Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
Boy oh boy - this triggered some childhood wounds for me. In my family of origin silence was an often used tool, often as a ‘weapon’. I also have lot of smart people in my family. These verses helped me revisit some underlying beliefs I have that have kept me in certain relational patterns. What we don’t heal we repeat - let me say that again - what we don’t heal we repeat. Our inner wounded child is always looking for a ‘do over’ to get it ‘right’. So often our unexamined behavior keeps us in cycles and patterns of trying to ‘fix’ things, but using broken or wrong tools, hence a cycle. But we don’t know this, so we just move on and keep trying. BTW- none of this is conscious, this is the unconscious mind on autopilot.
So if you want to get out of your particular ‘rinse and repeat’ cycle you’ve got to stop and take the time to face these childhood wounds and beliefs that were formed and forgive and reassure and educate your inner child with the truth. The other verse that caught my attention in this chapter was vs. 6 “… parents are the pride of their children.” Notice this verse says ‘are’, it is wired in us to love our parents regardless of how good, wise, foolish, bad, indifferent, kind, mean, harmful, loving, etc.. they are. This is why we all have childhood wounds. Our immature brains and hearts were creating meaning from events and people that didn’t always make sense or we didn’t fully understand. Our brains are meaning making machines, and they will create stories and beliefs that aren’t always correct. Imagine that!
So in my brain, silence equated not only to smartness, wisdom, but also fear and a ‘you are in trouble’ signal being received. Now as I am able and willing to go into my childhood wounds I am beginning to understand and get to the bottom of some of my particular framework of seeing the world. I am able to see that I can love my family and particularly my father but also see that he was a fool in many ways, even though he was extremely smart. A wise person is smart, but a smart person is not necessarily wise, the two things are very different.
I also understand that I love my father and I struggle with sadness and anger with his choice to self medicate with alcohol. He was human and he was doing the best he could with what he had. Doing this work is hard ‘heart’ work, it takes courage, humility, a lot of time, and patience to do this type of excavation. It is not fun, but it is fantastic and I know will bear much fruit not only for me but for my children and generations to come. The buck stops 🛑 with me as much as within my power with God’s grace, mercy and assistance. I am committed to doing the best I can, with what I have, with all that I am.
I know the difference between me and my father is not smartness, good intentions, love etc .. He had all of those things in spades. What he didn’t have was the willingness to be humble, despite being humbled and disciplined repeatedly by the consequences of choices. This hurt me, for years I was so angry and I also believed that he chose alcohol over me and my sisters and that he did’t really love us. My child brain, could not reconcile all of this conflicting information. I would imagine you have some similar stories, maybe not exactly around silence and smartness being misused and abused and mistaken for wisdom, but there is something there that has you on a rinse and repeat cycle that you would like to heal from. I invite you to do the heart ❤️ work.
I will leave you with this last verse to consider Prov 17, vs 19 ‘Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin; anyone who trusts in high walls invites disaster.’ I think this is how a lot of us exist internally. We war within, lots of quarreling and justification happening inside with our prideful ego and the other part of us that knows better. This can lead to us putting up high walls, internally and externally which just allows that prideful, fearful ego to be in control which invites disaster. I pray everyday for God to help me to have willingness to be humble despite my resistance and wanting to ‘yeah but…’ defend and explain my foolishness.
I have shed a lot of tears this morning, this has been a hard one to write - I have put a lot of my heart ❤️ out for you to hopefully learn along with me as I am doing my own healing inner work and healing and reassuring my inner child that she is ok. Rewriting the belief that silence is not always used as a weapon. I am learning that I can love my father for all that he was and forgiving him for not being perfect, and for not being what I thought he ‘should’ be, accepting that he was human and doing his best. He is my teacher and exactly who I needed him to be for such a time as this and I can hear him from heaven encouraging me to ‘keep breaking down the prideful walls and end this cycle in our family’.
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
Are there some beliefs that you need to rewrite? Some inner childhood wounds that need to be healed?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Proverbs 18-20
Coaching Opportunity
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