Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.

📝 Reflection

Psalm 109: 18-21

“Cursing is as natural to him as his clothing, or the water he drinks, or the rich food he eats. Now may his curses return and cling to him like clothing; may they be tied around him like a belt.”

May those curses become the Lord’s punishment for my accusers who speak evil of me. But dealt with me, O Sovereign Lord, for the same of your own reputations! Rescue me because you are so faithful and good.

The verses above are from a string of accusations brought against David. He is beside himself, saying Lord ‘I don’t understand, I love these people, I even prayed or them and now they are spewing lies, hatred and accusations against me for now reason!’ I love how he constantly reminds us by example to take it all to God. He is not wasting too much time trying to fight, justify, explain, or convince his accusers. He knows they are jealous and that their accusations are false and probably more of a mirror of their what is going on in their own lives. That is often what jealousy reveals.

Jealousy is something we project onto other people and allow ourselves to become victims. Jealousy is toxic though, it takes all of that energy that you could be using to actually get the results that you desire for yourself instead of wasting it on being jealous of others. It is such a seductive and toxic lie that the ego uses to ensnare not only the one who is feeling the jealousy but also the one who is the object of the jealousy. In our desire to want to be liked, we often down play or hide our successes because we don’t want to ‘make’ others feel bad. We really believe that we have that power over each other. That is the great deception. We are the only ones that make ourselves feel any thing! We are the cause of our own suffering. There are moments of suffering when awful things happen and when we truly are victims, but beyond those moments the suffering is a choice due to our distorted perceptions, our resistance to accepting things, letting go, and stories we are telling ourselves. I will give a couple of personal examples.

Jealously just like other toxic emotions is like drinking poison and hoping that you hurt another person. We just hurt ourselves and often cause the very thing that we want to be set free from. David is revealing that truth here. He is doing the wise thing and just walking in integrity and taking all of his hurts, desires and needs to God and reminding God who he is and his own reputation must be preserved.

I have personally struggled with feelings of jealousy. I moved around a lot growing up very poor and in a home where my parent fought a lot. It was not a good situation. I truly was a victim as a child. But as an adult I stayed a victim and spent a lot of years envying other people from being ‘from’ somewhere and having large, close and loving families. I suffered from the ‘grass’ is green over there syndrome. My father also suffered from this mentality, rather than looking inward and fixing himself, he was always looking for his solution over ‘there’. So it isn’t my fault that I learned this and picked up the baton and carried it on. BUT it is my responsibility once I became honest and saw it for what it was.

This jealousy was a sign of something that I felt was missing from my life. It was a sign of an inward problem that I was projecting outside. This jealousy caused a feeling of being robbed of an alternate life that I 'should' have had. I created a story in my mind of how life should be, why it wasn't and caused myself a lot of suffering in the process. Often what looks like greener grass over there is not. In fact I bet those that had the life I thought I wanted were looking at me thinking how exciting it must be to move, to have lived other places. This is what we do as humans!

I have also been on the other side in other aspect of my life, as the one that others were jealous of. As a recovering co-dependent and people pleaser, I still am overcoming my limiting beliefs that it is no ok for me to achieve certain things, because of how others might feel about it. I know that I have been the object of jealousy and envy and have felt bad for ‘having’ success and have down played or not reached fully for what I could be because I believed the lie that my success made others feel bad or uncomfortable. I am married to someone who makes a very good living and this has been safer for me to be the beneficiary of someone else’s success. Oh boy, I am having a lightbulb moment personally as I am typing this.💡🤦‍♀️

There is liberty and freedom in radical honesty and personal responsibility. That is why I call my coaching method “OWN IT For Good. It is not easy though and it will most certainly bring out the ‘haters’. Jealousy or resistance to others holds up a mirror to where we are being a victim in our lives vs. not taking responsibility for our ambitions and looking for either blame or a solution ‘over there’. We never have the power to make others feel a certain way and nor do others have that power. We always, always, always have a choice, we cause our own feelings only 100% of the time. This maybe be shocking news to some of you, I know. The first time I learned the truth, I resisted it too!

Our ‘negative’ emotions actually have wisdom to share with us. They are often our own desires and ambitions wearing different clothes. Your voice of judgement can be transformed into your voice of wisdom if you are willing to get honest, listen and act. How does this resonate with you- have I called you out? Are you cursing me right now? Be like David and take it to God, he can help you find freedom from jealousy, hatred and un-forgiveness. I had to start with forgiving myself for being jealous and open my mind and heart to be able to listen to the wisdom hidden in my heart.

It has taken me almost 50 years, but I am finally starting to feel at home and know that I can feel at home anywhere. Home for me is not a ‘there’ it is here within me and it always has been. I was too busy looking out there and being jealous of what others seemingly had, that I wasn’t able to see the ‘forest for the trees’! Life is gift, ALL of it. My story and my experience are unique and exactly what I needed.

✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt

How does this resonate with you? Can you see how jealousy might be playing a role in your life? Are jealous of anyone, are you the object of jealousy from others? What is this jealousy a sign of for you? What might it reveal?

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Day 100- What is Jealousy a Sign of?

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