Day 128- Joking / Sarcasm
📖Daily Reading
Proverbs 21
🎥 Video
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📝 Reflection
Proverbs 22: 10
Throw out the mocker, and fighting goes, too. Quarrels and insults will disappear.
There is a fine line between joking/sarcasm. Get it. 😂 Yes I have a corny sense of humor I know! But seriously Proverbs should come with a warning label ‘Do Not read unless you want to be called out on your s#%*t’.🤦♀️. Anyone else come from a family where your families love language is sarcasm? I think if America had a love language it would be sarcasm, am I right (she asks sarcastically)?
So I am two thirds of the way through Proverbs and the words mocking and mockers is used repeatedly, and it hasn’t occurred to me until today that I am a mocker sometimes. Of course examples of other people I know immediately came to mind, but I hadn’t looked in the mirror on this one yet. Probably because it is so frequently and ‘justifiably’ used. In verse 24 it says “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” Sarcasm often is a ‘funny’ way to communicate anger, judgement, frustration etc..
When you are having fun at someone else’s expense is it really funny? I am sure we all have examples of this when we have been on the receiving end, and yet sometimes it is hard to see it in ourselves. This is one that I am really going to work on. Just because it is widely used and accepted does not make it ok. This is what verse 24 is cautioning us about. What we spend time with and tolerate soon becomes normalized and then before you know it you are actively participating in it.
So this got me thinking a little further about what is really behind sarcasm and mocking. Are we a bit threatened by what we make fun of or don’t understand, are we secretly a bit angry or frustrated and we don’t want to be fully honest with ourselves or the other person about it, are we judgmental, unsure, awkward, passive aggressive (🙋♀️)? Probably yes any one or all of these things. When we can make fun of or mock something it can feel reassuring especially if we can get a laugh from others. Belonging is so fundamental for humans, we will do just about anything to belong. Even go along with something that is hurtful to us personally or we tolerate bad behavior from others.
As I was digging even a little deeper into all of this personally and thought well how can we/I use this information and find wisdom in it. When I am tempted to make fun of, mock or be sarcastic. What if instead I got curious? What is it about this person, situation, topic is threatening or uncomfortable? Then I thought what is it to feel threatened - it is a fear of the unknown - which underneath it all is curiosity itself but with fear attached to it. What if I could just put my fear aside and just lean into the curiosity? What if I expressed my curiosity in a genuine way in such a situation - seems like that actually might help me created a deep and authentic connection with the experience or person vs. just a ‘funny’ moment that might make someone feel dismissed, unseen, uninteresting, misunderstood… all really disconnecting.
We see this all over the place on social media, on the ‘news’, everywhere! Complete transparency, I used a funny meme recently that I knew would garner a laugh in our family text thread. I also knew it would hit a little too close to home and it was mocking something a viewpoint that my daughter is passionate about. She of course didn’t think it was funny. My response was ‘oh, lighten up, I am just having fun, it was funny, come on…’. She just half heartedly smiled and walked away. I truthfully hadn’t thought of it until this morning. I am going to circle back and apologize today.
Now I also want to make sure you know that laughing is important and not taking ourselves too seriously is also important. Life is meant to be enjoyed and full of laughter and fun. There are absolutely times when humor can intentionally include some good natured mocking. This might include the intentional use of extreme caricatures if the person doing the mocking is setting it up appropriately and we are all coming together understanding that we will be joking and laughing about things. I think we can all understand the difference. But because there is the thin line and sometimes we can go too far, we just really have to be careful and have a good internal compass.
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
How about you, is there someone in your life that you use joking, sarcasm or mocking to be passive aggressive with? Does someone do this with you? How can you work towards improving this in your relationships?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Proverbs 22-23
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