Day 97 - How to Set Healthy Boundaries
📖Daily Reading
Psalms 78-106
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Psalm 101: 3-5
I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate all what faithless people do; I will have no part in it. The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil. Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate.
This is a short but powerful psalm of only 8 verses. David demonstrates that he has clarity around how he is personally going to live his life and be a good leader and king. He knows that in order to support himself in this that he needs to have healthy personal boundaries. We humans get off track so easily as the Bible is so good at demonstrating. We are easily influenced. When you are mission focused and purpose driven you really need to have guardrails in place to keep you on your path. Think of yourself as your personal kingdom that you are the leader of and are completely responsible for.
If you are really wanting to make some changes in your life, but are not making the kind of progress you want, you might have boundaries issues. In order to get where you want to go and what you want your life to look like, you have to take some time to really get clear on your vision. Then you also have to take the time to look at where you are and who you are surrounded with and how you spend your time. For example I used to watch food network all of the time, I realized that when I wanted to get serious about losing weight that this was not the best use of my time or the best thing to put in my brain that would support my goals. I need to invest my time in listening and educating myself on what is underneath my relationship with food and my weight. This was also what motivated me to take a look at my relationship with alcohol.
Before I go on, I want to take the time to emphasize that boundaries continues to be an area of focus and growth for me personally and probably will be until I take my last breath. I don’t want anyone to misunderstand and think that I have this all figured out. Boundaries are also something that need constant monitoring, modifying and evolving as you grow, change and evolve. Your time, energy, resources, relationships all take careful tending in order to thrive and fulfill your potential. You can’t do boundaries work just once and set it and forget it and think that you have ‘healthy boundaries’. Health in any area takes careful attention and intention.
As I began my journey to be a healthy weight a few years ago I had to really take the time to sit down and take stock of not only where I wanted to be but where I was and get honest about what was not supporting me. I had to set some internal boundaries and I decided for me that alcohol was a not supporting me, I was not going to be able to achieve the health and fitness levels I wanted and still consume this substance. Not only was it empty calories, but it changes the types of foods the body craves, it zaps the body’s energy, it is dehydrating, it wreaks havoc with the homeostasis system of the body’s natural production of chemicals and hormones, it creates anxiety, it causes sleep loss etc.. In order to be successful with phase one my health journey, I had to be crystal clear on my goals and set up healthy boundaries that would support my desire to live and alcohol free healthy lifestyle.
This required getting clear and fully committed, changing routines, having tasty alternatives on hand, hiring coaches, joining like minded communities, getting educated and learning the truth about what alcohol does to the human body, changing some relationships, making new friendships, finding new healthy activities, stopping some other non-productive alcohol focused activities etc.. All of this is the work of establishing healthy boundaries. Phase 2 of my health journey included doing some deep healing work on dealing with some childhood wounds, getting to the root of maladaptive coping strategies, getting out of co-dependency mindsets and relationships, getting additional coaching and support, getting educated and certified in health and life coaching, putting boundaries around my real estate business. When you say yes to yourself and your growth and fulfilling your potential, you have to say no to some other things. As I move on to phase 3 of my health journey, it is going to require some additional changes. That is where I am now, doing the additional monitoring, re-evaluating, taking inventory and making adjustments in my current boundaries that will support this new phase and stage. Remember ‘what got you here, will not get you there’.
Many of this don’t know and are never taught these types of things. I know this sounds like a lot of hard work, and I am not going to lie, it is, but it is so worth it. One of my favorite mantra’s is ‘choose your hard’. Being overweight, feeling overwhelmed, dealing with chronic anxiety, having low energy, being frustrated etc. is also hard. Another one of my favorite quotes is “If you don’t sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice”. The time is passing anyway and making small changes consistently and living intentionally will create a new experience and relationship with life itself in a matter of a few short years, just think who and where you could be in five or ten years! You are worth having healthy boundaries. We need you, the world needs you!
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
What can you start to get clarity today? Get a specific vision, and start with one thing, not five! What are you doing today that is not supporting your goals? Is there anyone who is in your inner circle that is not supporting you in your goals?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Psalm 107
Coaching Opportunity
Let's make 2023 the year of YOU by laying a solid foundational mind set! The world needs what only you have to offer! Give yourself the best gift ever, the best version of you is ready to rise & shine!
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If you have stuck with me this far, then you are not reading this by accident, I believe God has a plan for you and is calling you forward!😉🤩
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