Day 174 - Good Grief (?)

📖Daily Reading

 Lamentations 1-5

🎥 Video  

Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.

 

📝 Reflection 

 Lamentations 3: 31-33

    For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

 

The book of lamentations is a good reminder to give proper honor and time to the ‘negative’ emotions that many of us try to avoid or circumvent. Grief is a necessary part of life. If you are anything like me, you have tried to avoid it at all cost. But guess what; things, people, seasons in our life are due the homage and maybe lament for the contribution that they did make to our lives. Grief is something that needs to be respected and gone through or it will eventually catch up with you and take you out!

How do I know? I have tried my whole life to escape negative feelings especially grief and lamenting. I had a childhood full of tremendous and repeated loss, grief and sadness that I haven’t until now allowed myself to even see in that way until the last few years. I am a spin queen! Give me any situation and I can find the silver lining, reframe it, spin it, paint it rose colored, sprinkle some pixie dust on it etc.. It is one of my best traits and also one of my worst!

I have taken energy and time that should have been spent in appropriate grief and redirected it into lots of various ways. It worked for me at the time, but eventually almost all of the time I would eventually hit a wall, burnout, feel overwhelm and crash. In the process I might also take a few others down with me.

When you experience these types of emotions and times in life, it can be the grief mixed in that is coming out anyway it can. It needs to be expressed. It will haunt you, whether it is an actual person that you have lost, a relationship, divorce, child of a divorce, a job, a move, another big change. Even with good changes, it is often still the end of something else. Many of us are either currently or recovering dual; black/white, either/or, all/nothing thinkers. If something ended we can also tend to paint the previous period all dark and negative. This isn’t true. Life is complicated and messy. 

When I decided to become healthier and do things like not drink alcohol anymore. I wanted to use shame, guilt and negativity to look upon my drinking days and drinking self as all bad. That isn’t true nor is it helpful. The appropriate response is bittersweet. That is excitement about making some changes but also some grief about a season of life that had a lot of great times in it that I really enjoyed. It was real - ALL of it. This doesn’t mean we want to romanticize it either. 

Often when I work with people they get surprised and caught off guard with this aspect of the process. They think having these feelings and memories is a bad, that is is a sign that they want to maybe re-engage with their old behaviors. That is not what is happening. Our brain is reconciling with what was, with what is and what will be. It feels yucky, painful, confusing, sad - all of it. But it is also cleansing, detoxifying and organizing. It will allow you to move on with clarity and confidence. When you try to go around it, under it, over it etc.. it will eventually catch up with you and in the process you may likely turn to unhealthy behaviors to cope with what you are trying desperately not to cope with!

Feel ALL the feelings so you can get through them! Grief is good, but good grief is it hard!  There is no one denying this, but when we don’t deal with our feelings they will find a way to eventually deal with us. It is much better for us and others if we face it and feel it as things come. It isn’t easy or fun, but it can lead to healing and growth. If you include your faith and God in the process it will also deepen your walk with Him and you will understand the verses from Lamentations 3:31-33 in a tangential way: ‘For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.’

 

✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt 

 How do you FEEL when you read this? Did somewhere in your body tense up? Did your breath maybe catch a little? Did a memories or time in your life come to mind?

📖Tomorrows Reading

Ezekiel 1-15 

Coaching Opportunity

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