Day 345- Rational Lies
📖Daily Reading
Day 345- Rational Lies
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Jude 1: 3-4, 16
'Dear friends, I had been eagerly planning to write to you about the salvation we all share. But now I find that I must write about something else, urging you to defend the faith that God has entrusted once for all time to his holy people. I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. ‘
These people are grumblers and complainers, living only to satisfy their desires. They brag loudly about themselves, and they flatter others to get what they want. '
So today’s title is a bit of a play on words. The word rationalize reimagined as rational lies. The definition of rationalize is: attempt to explain or justify (behavior or and attitude) with logical reason, even f these are not appropriate, or to attribute (ones actions) to rational and creditable motives without analysis of true and especially unconscious motives, to create an excuse or more attractive explanation for something.
So with this in mind I think this is what Jude is warning the people and us as the reader about. Be careful not to fall for rational lies, because we humans are easily influenced and some like yours truly suffer from being gullible. The example Jude gives here is also the conflicting behavior to be wary of, complaining, bragging and flattery. These can be manupliative strategies used by people.
I have some shame still around being easily fooled by people. I have a naturally optimistic spirit and will believe the best in people contrary to the evidence they show consistently. I then I will even rationally lie to myself just to stay in positivity. It is something I am really working on. It was a trauma and survival response I developed as a kid to help me survive in a dysfunctional family. I have to learn to sit now with the uncomfortable feelings of feeling unloving, even when I know that is not true.
Learning to be discerning and seeing people for who they really are is not unloving. It is loving to myself and to others to do this. Love challenges and convicts people of their bad behavior, it does not twist use grace to excuse it. We don’t need to use shame and disgrace in our dealings with people honestly. In fact, love and grace together always includes humility. This is how we know if we or those we are dealing with are actually operating in love. If they have experienced God’s love fully.
Those who engage in this type of behavior, regardless of the words coming out of their mouths. Back to yesterday, results speak for themselves. Love challenges us, convicts and invites us to do better willingly, to want to do better. Our own conscience will likely convict us first, but when we slip into our human ness and our like minded and hearted friends should feel ok speaking to us in love and honesty and we should be able to humble ourselves in love and grace. Grace is not a permission slip for bad behavior, quite the opposite.
Brené Brown researcher and author has done a lot of great work in this area. She has been able to document and quantify that honesty and authenticity is loving, courageous, kind and generous. Sticky sweetness, placating niceness and fake kindness only perpetuates dysfunction because it is dishonest. It gives permission and emboldens the manipulative behavior of rational lying. We also shouldn’t use shame with ourselves or others. We can have healthy guilt that results in repentance but not shame.
Brené draws an important distinction between the two. Shame says I/You are bad, guilt says what I/you did was bad. This is significant and holds true to God’s word and promise as well. There is no shame in love, in God. We are not inherently flawed, bad or broken people. We are human and we mess up at times. We engage in bad behavior but even the worst of the worst have hope of transformation and redemption.
No human is beyond salvation or God’s love. We don’t invite people into God’s love by agreeing with or being complicit in rationalizing their bad behavior, but we use love not shame to invite. Even Jude in this admonishing letter adds near the end: ‘And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives. '
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
How has rational lying shown up in your life? Are you like me the more ‘gullible’ type? Do you rational lie to yourself to tolerate bad behavior, thinking you are being kind and loving? Are you the one using this to justify your own bad behavior?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Revelation 1
Coaching Opportunity
My inaugural OWN IT! For Good! group & 1:1 coaching is well underway and it is amazing. The participants are absolutely loving it and experiencing major aha's, break throughs and life changing mindset shifts. Please let me know if you are interested in experiencing this as well, I am considering kicking off another group in January of 2023. Let's make 2023 the year of YOU by laying a solid foundational mind set! The world needs what only you have to offer! Give yourself the best gift ever, the best version of you is ready to rise & shine!
Book your free📞Wake Up Call today to learn if this is what you have been waiting for!
If you have stuck with me this far, then you are not reading this by accident, I believe God has a plan for you and is calling you forward!😉🤩
CONNECT WITH ME
Subscribe to Rise & Shine✨Together Daily Encouragement
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/felecia.b.holmes (personal)
Rise & Shine Together Private Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1093183278239989
You Tube: Rise & Shine Playlist
|