Day 266- Isn't it ironic
📖Daily Reading
Romans 12
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Romans 12: 3-5
“Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.”
This chapter Paul is teaching the concept of being a living sacrifice. He says to let God transform us into a new person by changing the way we think. As humans we change the way we think often through behaving in new ways. It is a loop 🔂: think, feel, act, become; aka cognition + behavior = change. With all of this in mind lets now take a look at the word sacrifice. Sacrifice by definition is the act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy. So here is the irony. By sacrificing our more immediate gratification way of living behaviors, aka the flesh, we are saying that we are more worthy. There is an anonymous quote that I have used as my anchor for the past 4 + years “If you don’t sacrifice for what you want what you want becomes the sacrifice”.
I am going to share a bit of my personal story as an example. As a young adult I lived a pretty intentionally hedonic lifestyle. I don't’ think I was bad, I just really believed life was short and it was meant to be enjoyed, which at the time meant satisfying my immediate desires. I also had the metabolism that allowed me to indulge with out a lot of outwardly apparent consequences. So this just gave more more license to indulge. For me this was eating a lot of decadent foods, enjoying wine, indulgent vacations of laying poolside or beachside with more food and drinks.
I also had no concept of boundaries and was trying to be a ‘good person’ the rest of the time. So these indulgences were my form of self care and what I deserved for ignoring my own needs and pouring myself out like a martyr ‘in service’ to others. My ‘serving’ ways and martyring myself allowed me to think of myself as so good in my own strength. Do you see where I am going with this…
I was doing exactly what Paul is warning against here. It is so counter intuitive or ironic. These choices eventually did catch up with me and I found myself in my mid forties, an exhausted, resentful, very judgmental of myself and others, overweight, and out of shape. Then I decided to get honest with myself. Accept responsibility for yourself, let go of being responsible for others. Which is exactly what Paul is asking us to do here. We are responsible FOR ourselves not for others. We are responsible TO others and to God but not for others. This is a huge distinction in the change of one small word. As soon as I was willing to sacrifice indulging in my immediate desires and change how I looked at loving and taking care of myself from a Godly perspective the more I was actually able to love and serve others from an overflow. It stared for me with putting down the wine glass. I gave up one thing, and I got a life back in returned that was even more wonderful and fulfilling than I could have even imagined. The irony is that I was sacrificing true life for a momentary false taste of life. Much like Esau gave up his inheritance for a bowl of soup. We humans have been struggling with this since the dawn of time. I am not alone in this, neither are you!
This may be hard for many of us parents out there to hear, but I am going to say it anyway. As parents we are responsible for their well being as they are growing, absolutely, that is a legal reality. But many actually believe they are responsible for everything about their ‘kids’ even into their adult years. What they think, what they do, who they love, what career they choose. We think all of their choices are a reflection of our parenting, on our goodness. Please free yourselves and them from this. It is a heavy burden and expectations that almost none can live up to. Many try and it leads to, trauma, dysfunctional relationships, disappointment, co-dependency, mal-adaptive coping behaviors etc.. We do this in the name of love, but it is not really all that loving when you really look at it honestly. This is what creates generational curses.
It is conditional, as long as you live according to my beliefs, my expectations, my morality then I will love you. Do you see the difference? When we let go we actually open ourselves up to real love. We see people for who they are and free them to be who God created them to be not who you have created them to be. We can stop lying to each other and pretending. We set each other free and ourselves. We take all the energy of judgement and expectation and we can channel it into becoming who we are meant to be. We can water our own garden, cultivate our own seeds of potential. This is how we truly love and serve each other. Let people be responsible for themselves, and you being responsible for you!
This message is a good reminder for me too. I really hold others and myself captive to judgement and expectations. I have to remind myself constantly of this. I am a removing over-functioning, high functioning co-dependent, people pleasing perfectionist. If this sounds exhausting and overwhelming, it is! So the good news really is good news! We can free ourselves and each other by not holding ourselves and each other hostage by our own stories, ideals and beliefs. We get to just be human, do our best, take care and cultivate our own God given gifts and serve each other from a place of overflow in love. This is salvation and heaven on earth❤️🌎.
“In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”
Romans 12:6-10 NLT
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
Ironically the most selfless thing we can do is to take good care of ourselves. Think more of ourselves so that we can think about ourselves less. This is how we become a living sacrifice and worship Him, aka love. How does this change how you look at yourself and your relationships?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Romans 13
Coaching Opportunity
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