Day 262- Forbidden Fruit Effect

📖Daily Reading

 Romans 7

🎥 Video  

Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.

 

📝 Reflection 

Romans 7: 7-8

“Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is sinful? Of course not! In fact, it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, “You must not covet.” But sin used this command to arouse all kinds of covetous desires within me! If there were no law, sin would not have that power.”

 

Paul is wrestling with some deep concepts that we experience as humans. Wanting and doing things that we know aren’t necessarily good for us in the long run but we do anyway. Our carnal urges, desires, passions and thoughts are very powerful in the moment. The word urge itself tells us this, it is urgent!  Our body is vulnerable to physical harm and death. It is wired to survive, protect, defend, and feel good. It is all about doing all of these things NOW.  It is not the executive part of our brain that is thinking in ‘if-then scenarios’ beyond the immediate. Our executive brain or our internal ‘parent’ is responsible for this longer term thinking. Often the two are in direct conflict. 

I like to think of my survival self as an internal toddler. If you have spent anytime with a toddler you know what I mean. They are pure desire and driven by the now. Their executive brains have not developed yet, that is why they need parents to guide and teach as their brains develop. It takes a long time for this part of the brain to come online much less get in charge. This is why it is often described as being at war within yourself, because it really feels like that at times.  

The law was an answer to definite patterns of behavior that were causing big problems for individuals and for communities at large. In a nutshell sin causes chaos and law brings order. But laws don’t change the underlying issue which is the desires to do the things that are outlined in the law.  Paul is passionately trying to communicate the hope and the good news that Jesus came to earth to teach and role model, the spirit of the law. If he can do an about face and be ‘reborn’ and have new life, then we can do it to. After all Paul was the worst of the worst, if he can be set free so can you and I. 

This is good news also from a psychological and science perspective that confirms these biblical teachings; new behaviors eventually lead to new desires. Lots of things in our human experience can be re-trained and re-wired with repeated exposure through behavior. My friend Gina likes to say ‘let behavior be your savior’.  Trust the process! Just like your muscles respond to weight training and get stronger so will your new wiser choices lead to actually desiring to live this way intrinsically, not according to rules but because you want to, you enjoy it, this is freedom in Christ. 

Delayed gratification usually leads to deeper and longer lasting satisfaction and inner peace. Your survival (toddler) brain will try to tell you the opposite, it will throw a fit and tell you how your are being deprived if you don’t give it what it wants right now. Stresses of life will feel overwhelming and your inner toddler will tell you that if you respond immediately either in anger, judgement, distraction, checking out etc.. that you are entitled and you deserve to be impulsive. It will feel like your feelings will kill you and that they will never go away if you don’t give yourself some relief from them, but feelings don’t kill us.  If there is one thing that is certain in this life it is that our feelings do change. In fact they change a lot and often pretty quickly. 

So basically we all are ‘split’ personalities. We have our survival self which is primarily concerned about the pleasures and dangers of the short term, it is perfectly ok with worrying about any negative consequences later. Then there is our executive, higher self that is thinking about the longer term consequences. So there is this constant internal negotiation happening often so quickly it is almost unconscious. It feels like one self making conscious choices, but for all intents and purposes it is two. I think this is why we use the illustration of a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. We resonate with this, it feels like our reality.  

I am really glad that Paul is also addressing the subject of guilt, shame and condemnation here. This is what often compounds our situations. Guilt and shame are not super productive emotions in fact they often drive people to just have a ‘screw’ it attitude. ‘Well, I have already messed up so might as well just keep going’. They steal our hope, these are actually the self inflicted feelings and even convictions we may get from others that actually hold us captive and influence our choices much more that we realize. This is why we need to be relieved or saved from them, to save us from ourselves and why the punitive relationship that these feelings often cause that we need to be freed or saved from. Then we can always be free to choose wisely even on the heels of a foolish choice. Hope is a powerful motivator. We NEED it!

 

✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt 

How have you let guilt and shame steal your hope? Do you feel like there are too many ‘rules’ to live by? Do you convince yourself you don’t deserve love, kindness, health…? Does it seem too hard or maybe even too good to be true to accept that you are loved just as you are? Your mere existence is proof that you are loved beyond what your mind or heart can conceive or imagine. AND you deserve all the goodness.  

📖Tomorrows Reading

 Romans 8-9

Coaching Opportunity

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