Day 144 - Non Verbal Communication
I can't help at laugh at the double portion of irony I have given myself to chuckle about. I missed a day, the first in 510 days and the topic is Non Verbal Communication, and then I even send it out a day late with a missing video link 😂
📖Daily Reading
Song of Songs 1-4
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Song of Songs 4: 9
You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of you necklace.
We communicate a lot non-verbally as a species. A lot of what and how we communicate and interpret from others was in grained in us at an early age. Then we go around like rays of sunshine spreading light and love or we are like garbage trucks bumping into each other and spilling our garbage onto the road and onto each other. We can make a real impact without ever speaking a word, for good or not so good! With the example of Song of Songs we are getting the good and loving kind of impact that non verbal communication brings. Just the glance of the eyes lets someone know where they stand with you, right?
In my own journey towards being more healthy, aligned and living with integrity, I have spent a lot of time looking at this aspect of myself. As someone who seems to be allergic to confrontation and conflict - non verbal communication was often my way to communicate. I got really good at sending ‘signals’ of disapproval, while being able to truthfully say things like “what, I didn’t say anything!?!” We do this kind of thing all of the time don’t we? I was pretty good at RBF (resting ‘brat’ face) and eye rolling.😏🙄. Fun fact - did you also know that your heart 💜 has an electromagnetic field of 3 ft?!
Besides the obvious toxic effects that this can on your relationship with others, what it does to you internally is even more important. That is where it all starts right… We look outside for solutions, blame, reasons, excuses etc.. but it is almost always an inside job. I love quote, ‘if you pray for God to move mountains, don’t be surprised when He hands you a shovel ⛏! So how is your non verbal communication with yourself?
Many of us are sending a lot of mixed signals, to fancy it up, we can also refer to this as cognitive dissonance - this is 2 competing thoughts. We don’t always think of this in terms of non-verbal communication though, or at least I didn’t. But every time I used non-verbal communication to tell the ‘truth’ but then used my words to deny, deflect, diffuse etc.. I am sending myself a signal that I don’t matter, there is a reason to be afraid here, I will be in trouble if they really know… We are pack animals and belonging to the pack is vital to our survival and we will often betray ourselves in order to belong. It is one way we keep each other ‘in line’. You can see this ‘play’ out on any school playground, if you need a reminder.
Every time you succumb to peer pressure as a kid, teen and into our adult years, you are sending yourself a message. Every time you go along with something or someone and your ‘spidey’ senses or your body is telling you no. Every time you let your body, your expressions, speak differently than your words, your actions what you are willing to acknowledge and be truthful about, before you know it you can’t trust yourself. You might have anxiety, depression, you might withdraw, build up protective walls. There are so many ways this can play out in helpful but also in self destructive ways. Tracing these threads back you might see patterns evolve. Almost always it involves wanting to belong, be accepted, be liked, be good but we don’t understand the cost to our self trust, self belonging, self acceptance, liking oneself, confidence - we chip away at slowly overtime.
It is very vulnerable to risk being shunned, disliked, disapproved of, not being ‘good’, thought of as weird or different. The person we often have to be the most vulnerable and honest with is the person in the mirror 🪞. This is the beginning of healing ❤️🩹- belonging to ourselves. Leaning to listen to your own non-verbal communication and get back into alignment and into -integrity.
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
So how is your non verbal communication with yourself?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Song of Songs 5-8
Coaching Opportunity
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