Day 88- Being Honest With Yourself
📖Daily Reading
Psalms 27-32
🎥 Video
Join me on my morning walk as we rise and shine together by walking through the Bible daily and learn a practical applicable coaching nugget from the ultimate life coach - our creator (whatever that means to you). No judgement zone here, all are welcome, we are all on a spiritual journey because we are after all spiritual beings having a human experience.
📝 Reflection
Psalm 32: 2-3
Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.
Honesty can sometimes feels scary for lots of reasons. But dishonesty will cause all kinds of trouble, I am living proof. I think we all can understand this at an intellectual level, but it is hard to actually do and live in complete and radical honesty. If you are a people pleaser, over functioning or high functioning co-dependent, this is going to seem especially daunting. People pleasers and co-dependents often can even see themselves as being dishonest. Their/our ‘niceness’ is often praised and this praise can blind us from the truth.
When we don’t pay attention to the cues and clues of frustration, sadness, hurt, misunderstandings, confusion, anger, whatever it is you can cause ‘dis’ease in yourself. We have to be willing not only acknowledge these uncomfortable feelings, but confront ourselves and be willing to look in the mirror and see what responsibility we have in situations, circumstances and relationships. Our ‘survival’ brain or ego by default wants to defend, deflect and deny responsibility. Not that there are not circumstances and things that happen to use that are truly not our fault, but how we handle and respond we always have responsibility and choice for. When you don’t deal with truth and honesty it will deal with you.
I know personally and I know many of you justify not being honest by telling yourself that you don’t want to rock the boat, make anyone unhappy, cause a relationship to have trouble or even end, it’s not a big deal, it will be fine. Meanwhile you plant your face in a bowl of ice cream and/or your kids mac-n-cheese and/or a bottle of wine and tv. There is wisdom hiding in your behavior if you will pay attention. There is something wanting to get out and we compound the problem and ‘feed’ it and it just gets bigger and bigger. That is what David did a few times, he did some things wrong with Bathsheba and rather than being honest then, he dug a deeper hole for himself to the point where her husband and one of his trusted soldiers died, rather than David being honest. It can get so out of hand before we know it, and not only do we take ourselves down, but we often take others down with us.
Even when it seems like there is no way out, when we finally reach the end of ourselves and get honest, what we find is actually not that scary it is actually liberating. Make no mistake we still will have fall out, consequences and discipline, but we will also have forgiveness, healing and freedom. Honesty is a required and prerequisite ingredient for integrity. You can be honest with out having integrity but you can’t have integrity without honesty. Honesty in and of itself can take us into trouble as well. David was honest about his desire for Bathsheba and honored his desire above doing what he knew was right, then he was dishonest with himself about it being ‘wrong’ and then down the drain of dishonesty he went. Luckily he had a good friend in the prophet Nathan who was willing to speak to him honestly and in a way that David would have to own his duplicity.
This takes me to my next point, you need good and trustworthy friends that will speak truth to you. If you are struggling with something in your life and you have some of the cues and clues mentioned here, you should go to one of these people and ask for help in seeing if you have something that you need to be honest about. You can’t grow or change without honesty. You have to be willing for others to be honest with you. This can sometimes be painful, but man can it create authenticity and integrity not only internally but externally as well. It is the path to freedom.
Are you willing to face yourself in the mirror and ‘own it’ all, the good the bad and the ugly? When you are that is the beginning of breaking the chains. I said at the beginning that I am living proof of dishonesty causing trouble, which is true, but I am also living proof that radical honesty is the antidote and the path to healing. It is definitely easier said than done and to talk the walk than walk the walk, but man is it worth it! I am free from alcohol, I am breaking free from over-eating, I am breaking free from co-dependency, I am breaking free from over-functioning, I have many honest and trustworthy relationships now, I am now trustworthy to others, my husband and I are genuinely best friends again, my kids trust me, but above all I know that God is for me and I have no person to fear and I trust me again and that is priceless!
✍🏼Daily Journal Prompt
Do you see the avalanche we can cause in our ‘strength’ and stoicism? What if you admitted to someone safe and trustworthy what you were struggling with? What if you prayed about it too? Maybe you would receive some encouragement and insight that lead to a new perspective on the situation?
📖Tomorrows Reading
Psalms 33-34
Coaching Opportunity
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